Jack White would like to buy the world a Coke

Hat tip to Largehearted Boy:

White Stripes singer/songwriter Jack White has been tapped by Coca-Cola to write a new song to inspire the world to buy Coke. I think this is for real. Remember, the White Stripes turned down the Gap when they offered lots of cash for an appearance in a commercial. I guess this is somewhat different, since he is writing a song for the commercial, as opposed to having them use one of their songs in it.

In related news, Steve Earle's title track from his 2004 album, The Revolution Starts...Now is being used to sell Chevy Trucks. i saw the commercial Sunday night, i think. Chevy must have realized that no one listens to Bob Seger anymore. But Chevy must be ignorant of the song's lyrics and meaning.

The White Stripes and Steve Earl are two of my fave artists, and i would never accuse them of "selling out." i would LOVE to write a song for a commercial, and i would LOVE to be able to pay off all my debts if something i composed were used in a marketing campaign.

Guess i'll get to writin'...checks to pay my bills at least.

PS: here's a video of Steve singing The Revolution Starts Now for Cindy Sheehan in Crawford, TX recently.

Bush vs. Science

Hendrik Herzberg comments in the New Yorker about Evolution, Creationism, Intelligent Design and BushCo.'s position on science:

From the beginning, the Bush White House has treated science as a nuisance and scientists as an interest group—one that, because it lies outside the governing conservative coalition, need not be indulged. That's why the White House-sometimes in the service of political Christianism or ideological fetishism, more often in obeisance to baser interests like the petroleum, pharmaceutical, and defense industries-has altered, suppressed, or overriden scientific findings on global warming; missile defense; H.I.V./ AIDS; pollution from industrial farming and oil drilling; forest management and endangered species; environmental health, including lead and mercury poisoning in children and safety standards for drinking water; and non-abstinence methods of birth control and sexually-transmitted-disease prevention. It has grossly misled the public on the number of stem-cell lines available for research. It has appointed unqualified ideologues to scientific advisory committees and has forced out scientists who persist in pointing out inconvenient facts.

Read the one-page article. Hat tip to DC MediaGirl.

Progress in Iraq

The news out of Iraq isn't ALL bad. Granted, they can't get a constitution ratified, and 68 American troops have been killed since Dubya went on the longest presidential vacation in 36 years. Here's the good news: Soldiers play hockey. We are surely winning now.


[Photo by Max Becherer/ Polaris, for The New York Times]

See the guy with the rifle? His team won.

Danger! Danger!

Do NOT cook these burgers










with these tiki torches!!

..or you could start yourself on fire and you wouldn't be able to "stop, drop and roll" because you'd be all doubled over and fu'd up from the E. coli..
This has been a public service announcement. word.

Thou Shalt Not Kill...

Except when meting out barbaric punishment, or when a democratically elected leader does not agree with US policy. Pat Robertson, Right Wing Religious Cleric, All-Around Champion Nut Job and buddy of W said of Venezuela's Hugo Chavez: "We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability." I hope he gets smited on TV.
I saw the documentary The Revolution Will Not Be Televised a couple years ago, and i remember Colin Powell saying to an adviser during a hearing at the UN, "I don't think he [Chavez] has the US's interests at heart." No shit. The US's interest in Venezuela? Get hold of their oil - Venezuela is the 5th largest petroleum exporter in the world. How do we do that? Install a US-friendly puppet government. I'll bet the Dubya and the NeoCons are pissed at Robertson for letting the cat out of the bag.

Vacation blogging

Our vacation photos are now available on the world wide super highway web internets. Peep the Flickr.

What we learned today...

• Chinese therapists can cure internet addiction by applying "short, sharp shocks" to "pressure points" of the addict. Article says nothing about where they apply the shocks to those addicted to internet porn.
  
• You can die from an overdose of online video games. Player's last words: All your base are belong to us.
• Don't take your "glorified firecracker" on the plane with you.
  
• Don't shoplift at the Wal-Mart in Texas, or the vigilante employees will inflict the "Hot Pavement Treatment" upon you and you will die. Do ya think the employees who killed that guy got bonuses?
  
• You can lose weight by eating only McDonald's. Caveat: you must avoid the fries and try to live on just 1,400 calories a day. Oh, and you probably need to take a bunch of speed and diet pills, too.
• If you have a secret wife (or more), don't tell ALL of them that you are in the hospital for surgery, or you will get busted when you wake up. Except in Utah.
• You can furnish your apartment for free! Step one: go to FedExKinko's (or as i like to call it, "FeKinkodEx") and get a buttload of shipping boxes. Step two: Build furnitures. Step three: start a website, natch.
  
• Saudi singles use technology to "flirt" in public. It is very sad that they have to go to such lenghts, but if they get caught, they get beaten and sent to jail. These people are some of Bush's bestest buddies.
  
• Geeksta Rappers be droppin' some mad science, legit.
• If you are launching your "i'm running against Hillary on an anti-Hillary platform" campaign, always know where page 10 is.
• Katherine Harris has boobs and she knows how to use them. She must have taken PR lessons from Mary Carey.
• We must stay vigilant for fake news. To be safe, rely only on news sources that you know are fake: The Onion, The Daily Show, Fox News Channel, and Drudge.

The sad state of our military

"Humor in Uniform Submissions At All-Time Low", The Onion reports.

PLEASANTVILLE, NY—Reader's Digest editors reported Monday that submissions to their "Humor In Uniform" feature have fallen off sharply since 2001. "The submissions that are trickling in are just not making me laugh," said Jackie Leo, an editor at the magazine. "I'm looking for amusing send-ups of peeling potatoes on KP duty, not another vignette about a soldier waking up screaming because he accidentally shot a pregnant Iraqi woman." Leo said she almost published one soldier's story about being financially devastated by shrinking veteran benefits "just to help him out with the $300 publication fee, but it just wasn't funny enough."

Snub blogging

Who's getting snubbed?

• Wounded Iraq War veteran snubs Bush.

One day a nurse came in to ask [wounded soldier Terry] Rodgers if he wanted to meet President Bush, who was visiting the hospital. Rodgers declined.

"I don't want anything to do with him," he explains. "My belief is that his ego is getting people killed and mutilated for no reason -- just his ego and his reputation. If we really wanted to, we could pull out of Iraq. Maybe not completely but enough that we wouldn't be losing people -- at least not at this rate. So I think he himself is responsible for quite a few American deaths."

• Bush continues to snub Cindy Sheehan, whose son, Casey was killed in Iraq in June of last year. She, along with a growing number of protesters and military moms, is camped out at W's Crawford ranch demanding an audience with the Presdident. The Prez sent out a coupla minions over the weekend to speak to her, but refuses to talk to her face-to-face. Cindy is braving the heat, rain, lack of restroom facilities and possible arrest by the Secret Service. Manboy president really shows his character when faced with criticism, doesn't he? What a wimp.
  

“I plan on staying here the entire month of August or until he comes out to talk to me,” she claimed. “And don’t think he can get away. I’ve got his whole perimeter covered with mainstream media cameras maintaining interlocking fields of vision. You’re gonna see me, Mr. President. Oh, yes you will!”

• Coldplay singer Chris "Mr. Gwyneth Paltrow" Martin snubs Prime Minister Tony "i am not Bush's Bitch" Blair. Says Martin, "...I don't particularly want to be photographed with him at the moment."
  

• Tony Blair snubs former British Foreign Secretary and critic of the Iraq War, Robin Cook by not attending his funeral. Tony Blair can't face his critics, even when they're dead.
  

Snubbing seems to be the new black. Who are YOU snubbing today?

I'm back from vacation..

Man, was that fun!
Details later...

Quick links..

There is a 25 year old pregnant mother of a 7 year old missing from Philadelphia, PA. Her name is Latoyia Figueroa.
Q:Why aren't the 24 hour news networks and major metropolitan newspapers providing wall-to-wall coverage and updates every fifteen minutes?
A: She's not white.
Even the story on the CBS 3 website seems half-hearted, saying, "If you have any information, call police." No phone number was given. No special tip line, not even a number for Crime Stoppers. I believe she was last seen in the Philadelphia Police 16th District. Call 215-636-3163 if you have any info.
But thanks to All Spin Zone and The Philadelphia Citizens Crime Commission, there is now a reward fund.
Who needs to wait for Nancy Grace to get off her ass when you have thoughtful, real people to help spread the word? Help if you can.
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The Bush Administration is changing the slogan for their quixotic crusade from the "Global War on Terrorism," or GWOT, to the "Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism," or GSAVE.

Don't you feel like we're winning already?
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Ann Arbor, Michigan via The Raw Story: "Billboard Requests Divine Intervention to fix economy"

Things certainly are bad in the wolverine state. But what would Supply Side Jesus think about this?
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From the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee:
Karl Rove gets a raise!

A little extra pocket money for prison? What do you think he will he spend it on - syrup or jelly? *eeeewwww!!*
..and with that i will pass.

Some stuff i found funny....

Matt Alexander at McSweeney's tries to find humor in these times. He says,
"Although i like a good George W. Bush joke as much as the next guy, some of them seem gratuitous and mean-spirited."

Timothy McSweeny's site is full of irreverence, and thus is awesome.
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Congratulations to Sam Apple, he won the 2005 Hemispheres Magazine (the one you get for free when you fly United Airlines) Faux Faulkner competition. Yay! Wait. i've never heard of it either. Here's the story. Here is his winning entry.

"He know a lot more than folks think."
It would be funnier if it weren't so frighteningly close to the truth.
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Leo David Marquart

Introducing the newest member of the DeeceNox Posse: Leo David TiffSkeez Marquart!

Represent!
He was born at 12:20pm on my Dad's 55th birthday, July 19, 2005. He weighed in at 7.66 lbs and measured 19.9 inches. Congratulations to Skeezix and Tiffany.
Can i get a "hell yeah!"?
Li'l Leo is red-lining the awesomeometer early.
word.

Bush's SCOTUS nominee's role in the 2000 election

So this is why W picked him. John Roberts was part of the 2000 Florida Avert-the-Recount Team, or F.A.R.T. (okay, i just made that up). This was a team of legal experts brought together to advise Brother Jeb and the Florida legislator on how to forego the recount and just let Bush win Florida's 25 electoral votes. In the end, the SCOTUS ruled in W's favor, giving W the those electoral votes and ultimately, the presidency.
Can a partisan hack be an impartial jurist in the highest court of the land? i doubt it.

Black Keys in the StL

The Black Keys rocked the Pageant in St Louis Friday July 15, 2005 and i was there.

i blew my chance to meet Dan and Patrick in person when i saw them having their car fixed a coupla hours before their set. When i and my g/f approached the venue, i saw Dan and Patrick standing next to a Subaru wagon with Ohio plates while a tow truck operator was replacing a tire. i did not have my real camera with me, and i was too shy to stroll up and say, "Howdy! Sorry 'bout yer car, but do you have a second to pose for a cheesy cell phone camera pic with me and my girl here?" i don't have chutzpah like that, and i don't think they're the kinda folks who want attention to be drawn to them in that way. Maybe the next time. So in lieu of a cheesy posing pic, i present to you a coupla blurry, low light cell phone camera pics from the show.

Can't ya almost feel how rockin' they are?
While you're visiting their site and buying all their merchandise, check out this video of their song "10 a.m. Automatic" from their 2005 release Rubber Factory. It was conceived and directed by this David Cross.